When I gifted my SIL a Williams-Sonoma Goldtouch nonstick cookie sheet + cooling rack set last Christmas, I knew it would change her life. I’d read about the bakeware in magazines and skimmed raving reviews of it online, and noted its inclusion in multiple “top gifts” listings. In addition, it was packaged pretty, it looked pretty in its brushed gold finish, and my SIL loves to bake and entertain and bake and entertain and bake, so a winning situation all-around. It was time for the new dentist to beef up her bakeware game, and I wanted to be the one to get her collection started.
All of this, coming from someone who’s never owned top-quality bakeware. In fact, I avoid it like the plague, because when I bake it… I EAT IT. If (real) butter and (real) sugar are in the list of ingredients, I can’t resist. This has become a real problem in my adult life because you can’t argue with the truth that’s revealed in a lipid panel — my annual trip to LabCorp always reveals the same ol’ shit. I ain’t gettin’ any younger, and since it fell on my radar at 22 years old, my total cholesterol number ain’t gettin’ any lower. I inherited strangely high LDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels, and my weakness for any sugary, carby, buttery, baked thing that comes out of an oven doesn’t help matters. After years of eating oatmeal, racking up hundreds, no, thousands of miles on elliptical trainers and treadmills, and feasting on roughage and whole grain everything, I threw in the towel at 29. Nothing worked to lower the number (not even flaxseed! My mom’s go-to for everything that ails you), medication seemed the only solution, but I also wanted a bun in my own oven so-to-speak, so pregnancy occurred and my postpartum years have had an underlying theme of, screw it, you only live once.
Eat the cookie.
Fork the cake.
Lick the bowl.
Shovel it all in your mouth, ALL OF IT.
Le sigh. If only my metabolism matched the level of gusto my personality radiates.
Anyway, the Goldtouch bakeware did, indeed, make a very positive impact on SIL’s life in the kitchen. Practically every time I talked to her, she would rave about it:
“Everything turns out perfect!”
“You can’t mess up any recipe!”
“Cookies slide right off the sheet!”
“Oh my God, it’s the best!”
Our relationship became the bakeware. She realized over time that I didn’t own any. So, this Christmas, badda-bing, badda-boom.
She gifted me my very own Williams-Sonoma Goldtouch bakeware set! And today, I baked a thousand cookies, and packaged them all cute and stuff thinking they’d be fun to pop in neighbors’ cold ass mailboxes. Instead, I proceeded to eat the assholes throughout the day. Gobble, gobble, gobble.
“You only live once!”
The magical bakeware rendered absolutely perfect results, like I knew it would. Most beautiful chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies I’ve ever made, by far. But, with the New Year coming up and my clean(er) diet starting soon, I’ve gotta figure out what I can bake on these beautiful Goldtouch sheets that isn’t so sinful. Because I will be using them, and before you say, “bake cookies, just eat in moderation,” please know that “moderation” is not a viable option for me when it comes to baked goods. I sample everythang on the desert platter, honey.
In a quest for higher energy levels (and lower LDL, I guess) in 2018, my research for healthier cookie options has commenced. Fortunately, one of my old blogging friends from Columbus, a foodie who is regularly featured in magazines for her delicious recipes packed with healthy twists, has a gold mine of recipes I can try (Lindsay writes at The Lean Green Bean, if you’re interested).
I just really love this bakeware. And I also really love packaging, and using pretty baker’s twine, and all that. And, I love a good cookie. I’m not giving up: one of my goals this year is to master the art of baking a healthy, go-to cookie that’s as much fun to share in pretty packaging as it is to shove in my face.
I’ll obviously document how this all “pans” out. (See what I did there?)